I hate feeling like, you know, everyone is better at hurting than I am. Why does this incapacitate me when others who have more wrong with them can keep going? Why am I so weak??

Experienced sleep paralysis for the first time in a while and of course it was of a solid black spider the size of a dinner plate on my bedroom door

Can’t off myself because no one here will take care of my cats and I’ll never know if that one fic will update again 🤔

also i’d have to bring my cats and god knows who would allow several cats let alone not have me billed an astronomical fucking pet fee

There’s a small possibility I could ask my sister if she wants to find a place with me, but she’ll want her boyfriend there, which i can’t blame her. he’s nice and his home life is shit too, she can’t deny him the chance to escape. but she’s. not really good at budgeting, and has a history of the whole “moving out” thing not going well, and if i get out i don’t want to come back.

i just wanted so badly to have a family, and they made me believe. no I wanted to believe it would work out this time. But it’s just, the same shit, all over again.

i’m at the point where I know i need to see a therapist again, like it’s bad, but of course the only one locally I can even hope to afford to see has seen almost every member of my family

stopped using this blog because things seemed to almost be ok for a while, but, i should have known better really

unrelatableuserboxes:

anemonespotted:

unrelatableuserboxes:

can you make it darker please

unfortunately only anish kapoor is allowed to use vantablack, the worlds blackest black, in his art

sapphicwerewolves:

when ur mentally ill and having An Episode™ but u dont want anyone to know